Some things in life are too hard to figure out

Luther Dorr’s Step

Things I’ll never understand, even if I live to be 90:

•Why Augusta National, which hosts the Masters golf tournament every year, was criticized through the years for not admitting women to membership. It’s a private club, not funded by tax money. For example, why should the Girl Scouts admit boys? But, on Monday, Augusta National admitted two women after years of pressure from outside groups. Funny thing, though, they weren’t just any two women. One is Condoleezza Rice, once Secretary of State for the U.S., and the other is Darla Miller, a multi-multi-multi-millionaire investment banker.

•Why Milaca and Princeton, finally in the same high school conference again, aren’t on each other’s football schedule this fall. Princeton administrators said one of the reasons they wanted to get into a new conference last year was to renew old rivalries. The Milaca-Princeton rivalry was a huge one, yet they aren’t playing. That’s ridiculous!

•Why anyone would ever wait in line to purchase an iPhone. For one thing, they’ll be outdated in a few months. And, more importantly, why wait in line for an iPhone?

•Why the state of Minnesota won’t let the city of Milaca go ahead and install its new pedestrian bridge at Rec Park. It gave its approval once, withdrew it a few weeks ago, and now will make the city wait for as much as 120 days, possibly into early winter, while a bureaucratic process takes place to determine if the old bridge is worth remembering or not. The process has drug on for more than two years and now there’s another delay while someone actually gets paid to determine the fate of the old bridge.

•Why we have to have the eyes-closed partisanship that is so prevalent in politics today. When I hear a Republican say there are no good Democrats, or a Democrat say that about Republicans, I cringe. People used to disagree but still work together. That doesn’t happen much anymore.

•Why the Minnesota Twins have traded away Francisco Liriano, Delmon Young and J.J. Hardy without getting anything in return. Hardy could have solved their shortstop problems the last two years. He’s hit 46 home runs in a season and two thirds, while making only 11 errors in two years. He also leads American League shortstops in total fielding chances the last two years. Of course, this is a team that shelled out $14.3 million for Tsuyoshi Nishioka last year, one of the biggest busts ever in professional baseball.

•Why some people thought they would be voting on the two constitutional amendments at last week’s primary election. That will come in November. Of course, about 90 percent of eligible voters in the state didn’t even bother to vote, many not knowing there was a primary election in August. The other side of the coin is that some think the primary should be in June for a number of reasons, one being that it would be done before voters “scatter on summer vacations.” Kurt Daudt, a Princeton grad who is a Republican legislator from Crown, offered that idea, along with a DFLer, in Monday’s StarTribune.

•Why candidates, both at the state and local level, think if they get elected they can immediately cause taxes to go down, or to go up.

•Why CEOs get so much money, especially at companies that are in the tank.

•Why government continues to grow, with so many candidates saying they’d like to see it shrink. In Detroit, Mich., for example, they have a blacksmith on staff even though there are no horses to be shoed. It’s a union deal, KSTP radio personality Joe Soucheray said.

•Why more people don’t attend county fairs, in most years. This year they did, attendance at the Mille Lacs County Fair being estimated at 26,500 as buttons from previous years were used. A county fair is a part of the past we don’t want to lose.

•Why some seem to think it’s bad to want people to speak English when they come to the U.S. Go back to 1907 and read what President Teddy Roosevelt, considered a good guy, had to say about it. He advocated treating immigrants as equals but said they should “become in every facet an American, and nothing but an American. There can be no divided allegiance. We have room for one language here and that is the English language.”

•Why Milaca and Princeton aren’t playing football against each other this fall. Figure that one out!! Oops, we had that one already. But it’s still a source of wonder.

•And, since someone once said, “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing, the end to this column will be the Senility Prayer. “Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.”